I’m working on my blog today, writing up the Packing List and To-Do List pages. Writing those lists makes me feel the excitement of planning an adventure. The first thing I put on the to-do list was “commit”. I have this feeling of knowing that my future self is going to be so pissed off at my past/present self for getting me into this. I remember my first Camino and how I regretted it pretty soon after I began. That feeling didn’t go away for quite some time. In fact, if I’m really honest, 3/4 of my Camino was miserable. It’s just that the magic of that other 1/4 that makes it all worth it. It’s a birthing of sorts with a beautiful gift. I am afraid to walk again. I love solitude, but I don’t always stave off the loneliness and that’s my biggest fear. Loneliness is an old friend that darkens the thrill of independence. I’ve kind of maxed out on that way of life and want to share my life now. But here I am, at it again, needing the adrenaline of an adventure to make a change in my life. Will it work this time to get me out of bed? Will I quit this? Will I let my readers down? Will I have readers to let down?