9/26 Another day is blurring into the heat and the speed with which Clara and I walk through the landscape. I am excited that the milestone of Burgos is near. Though I still resent my discomfort. Tonight Clara and I dine together with the acknowledgment that it will be our last. Clara enjoys the wine and reveals more about herself which inspires me to reveal myself. She tells me she’s not been friends with a gay person in her past but is enlightened by knowing and caring about me. I am moved by her unexpected words. Even without the wine, I feel the weight of the last two weeks lighten and the room warm and soften.
Charlene: Hi Stella Bella. I’m in Atapuerca tonight. Was 18.5k today and will be 19.5k tomorrow if all goes as planned. I will sadly say goodbye to Clara after 5 days of companionship. I plan to then try and walk as the guidebook prescribes. I need to find an ATM in Burgos, and I think I’m ready to leave my sleeping mat behind. Some other less significant items have stayed behind..hand sanitizer, duck tape, floss, diarrhea pills, guidebook pages, pencil..I gave my Baggelini travel purse to Clara. I lost my handkerchief. The solar phone battery would have gone but belongs to Ellen. A pair of socks and a shirt are on the endangered list. The average pilgrim this time of year seems to be near retirement so consequently, I often feel like the young hot thing with the North American men whether the wife is in tow or not. Maybe the skirt should go too. I miss some of the people I frequently saw during the earlier days, but paces changed or some were walking for only a few weeks. This is a lesson in attaching as needed or desired and detaching as required by the journey. Exchanging contact information is not common or realistic.
If the Camino is a parallel to life, then I am 1/3rd through..about age 25..Santiago will be 75 and Finisterre will be the bonus years. So it makes sense that these last two weeks have been so tumultuous. The Pamplona woman of “12 steps” represents fanatical religion to me. I slowed my pace just to lose her (which says more about me than her). The man of “12 glasses of wine” represents my father, a tormented man. I was drawn to him but also wanted to get away from him, and I’m not sure where he is now. Clara (“comedy of the Camino” via text) is of course my mother. I realized this morning that I just CHOSE to spend 5 days with a stoic, no-nonsense Denmark woman who not only got me to buck up and get my pace on, but also silently cared about my wellbeing. These are my crystalized and abridged Camino thoughts thus far..between you and me.